While I was doing the hCG diet again, I read a couple self help books. I picked up Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears (Shambhala Library) by Pema Chodron. I didn't really like the book because it was too new age-y for me and I kept feeling my eye glaze over as I read but there was one part that really spoke to me and I can't stop thinking about it.
"A Native American grandfather was speaking to his grandson about violence and cruelty in the world and how it comes about. He said it was as if two wolves were fighting in his heart. One wolf was vengeful and angry, and the other wolf was understanding and kind. The young man asked his grandfather which wolf would win the fight in his heart. And the grandfather answered, 'The one that wins will be the one I choose to feed.'"
I read this passage over and over because an Oprah A-HA moment was forming in my head.
There are two Connie's fighting in my body.
One Connie is emotional and vulnerable. This Connie eats her feelings and uses food and wine to numb the pain. This Connie is introverted and hides behind her hair, watching the world go by.
The other Connie is strong and purposeful. This Connie deals with her feelings and uses food for fuel. This Connie is confident and outgoing....she loves life and takes risks.
The question is....which Connie am I going to feed?